The sacrificial lamb the gods required for This Life's resurrection was Ferdy and this was a good choice. He's a shit actor, Ferdy was a shit character and further exploration of the non-existent sexual tension or flat-lining emotional spark between him and Warren would be a big fucking waste of everyone's time. He worked a lot better as a plot contrivance to get the mid-Nineties house share back together, him being all dead and shit and the core five attending his funeral. Emotionally-charged reopening of festering wounds anyone? Gertcha!

"Miles is a successful hotel magnate happily married to the Vietnamese model Mi Wan Fuk who luv him long time."

At first, everything seems so splendid. Miles is a successful hotel magnate happily married to the Vietnamese model Mi Wan Fuk who luv him long time. Anna is back - now a successful barrister, off the booze and in the market for some spunk. No, not like that - she wants a wee bairn to round off her emotionally barren existence and is desperately seeking a sperm donor. It was good to see Anna return as a proper character and not the clichéd playing-to-the-gallery caricature she became in the final series of This Life. In fact, if anyone has grown and gained some self-knowledge in the past 10 years it's her. She knows she can't do relationships, that she's a toxic personality in most environments and deals with that responsibly.

"Mi Wan fucks off early and nobody gives a fuck because nobody came to hear about Miles's current poorly scripted cumbucket."

Despite not looking, talking or acting like any writer you've ever met, Egg is now a novelist having fictionalised his former housemates in his novel House Party. He's still with the fuck awful Milly who is still a horrible, horrible manipulative get and a full-time mother to their son, Oscar. Egg is making a documentary about the reunion, which takes place at Miles's country mansion, with a foxy camera woman Claire. You wonder if the Egg will get laid but no such luck - he is too devoted to his vile hateful girlfriend.

Warren is a psychobabble spouting life coach sublimating his grief over Ferdy's death into pill-popping and vacuous self-helpisms. The two spent five years in a relationship and I bet the writers are glad they didn't have to script that non-starter in any detail. Mi Wan fucks off early on because she no rikee something or other and nobody gives a fuck what because nobody came to hear about Miles's current poorly scripted cumbucket - they want to know if he's going to fuck the living shit out of Anna. And he does but there's no lasting love or happiness on the table - she's a toxic personality who cannae dae relationships, remember.

"Egg and Milly drag their fucking bore war of a relationship around like a giant third testicle growing out of their backs, him talking about football, her about her fanny."

Before you know it, the familiar Portishead CD is playing, the wine is flowing as freely as the arguments and we're back to 1996. It turns out everyone is as screwed up as they ever were. Egg and Milly are going to split up - and then they aren't. Miles's wealth turns out to be bankruptcy and bailiffs relieve him of his furniture at two in the morning. Mi Wan is leaving him but no one gives a fuck, least of all Miles. She has all the impact of Poochie in Itchy and Scratchy.

"That's why it resonates for many people - you recognize people you know. Even if you don't particularly like those people."

This Life was a great series and this was a good tying up of loose ends. The housemates arrangement is a marriage of convenience at the best of times and they obviously wouldn't be living in each other's pockets for the past decade. Miles would seek out a submissive Oriental bride Egg and Milly are exactly the kind of tedious dysfunctional couplescum you can't avoid at parties who drag their fucking bore war of a relationship around like a giant third testicle growing out of their backs for years on end, him talking about football, her about her fanny. And maybe that's why it resonates for many people - you recognize people you know. Even if you don't particularly like those people.

The best thing about it: Miles and Anna - still the only likeable people of this mob.

The worst thing about it: Milly - sour-faced shrivelled cunt.

The verdict on This Life +10 : Worthwhile revival of past glories.

Marks out of 10: 8

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