British TV reviews and so much more. I've really just about had it with all you scumbags. Aerial Telly forever - worthless Twitter groupie slime never.
"a depressing but brilliant read.... a superbly written manifesto for nothing." Daniel Hart
At its heart, Sarah Connor Chronicles is a love story about the very deep feelings between a boy and a machine. John Connor is in love with Cameron, the Terminator sent back in time to protect him. You can't blame him. Who wouldn't be in love with Summer Glau? I know what you're thinking. She's a cold unthinking machine with no feelings, only capable of simulating human emotion. But not all actresses are like that.1 The jury is out on Terminators though, particularly since Battlestar Galactica showed us that the love between a man and a toaster can work just as well as any relationship. Ever since Cameron first slutted her way up to John Connor in the school corridor he's wanted to put his cock in her again and again and again. But she's always had competition. Cameron isn't the only woman in John Connor's life.
"Who wouldn't be in love with Summer Glau? I know what you're thinking. She's a cold unthinking machine with no feelings, only capable of simulating human emotion. But not all actresses are like that."
Because at its heart, Sarah Connor Chronicles is a love story about the very deep feelings between a boy and his mother. Sarah may have cancer. John worries that the radiation from his metal wank fantasy may be to blame. He brings his concerns to the girl he spooges over every night and, to her credit, Cameron takes it in her stride, taking her bra off, lying down and telling him to get on top of her.
No, not like that. Yes, I was as disappointed as you (though, not as disappointed as John).
"He brings his concerns to Cameron who, to her credit, takes it in her stride, taking her bra off, lying down and telling him to get on top of her."
What she actually wants him to do is make an incision right under her tit so that he can feel for himself her Radioactive Power Source Centre, that it is cold and therefore not leaking and therefore not causing his mother's cancer (which may not actually exist). I'm not sure if that's how radiation is supposed to work but it seems to placate John (but not as much as a 3 hour cyber blowjob would).
But now is not the time for sex with a beautiful machine (John: when will it be the time?) No, now is the time for saving the world. As the gang have their tete-a-tete with Katherine Weaver, the mass murdering shape shifter, they discover that she's here to stop Skynet not bring it forth. You know, using that cyborg idiot savant John Henry down in the basement. What's that you say? You left him alone with Cameron? That can't end well.
"Mommy doesn't tag along and I'm not really sure why but before he splits she tells John 'I'll stop it'. What - him wanking over Cameron? Not likely, Missy."
Not for Cameron, anyway. Sarah, John and Katherine head into the basement to find a lifeless Cameron sans chip and Mong Henry gone time travelling. So John and Katherine travel forward in time to look for Mong Henry and Cameron's chip. Mommy doesn't tag along and I'm not really sure why but before he splits she tells John "I'll stop it". What - him wanking over Cameron? Not likely, Missy.
When they get to the future they find Derek Reese (John's uncle), Kyle Reese (John's daddy) and Alison Young (the human version of his nightly metal wank fantasy). So John may actually get to fuck a human Cameron. I bet she doesn't let him slice her tits open.
Ok motherfuckers, here's the thing: I like this show and it may not be coming back for a third season. It looks like they've deliberately made a showy eye-catching premise for season three just to get the network to give them the go-ahead. Who could resist a cliffhanger like that? Sarah Connor Chronicles is clearly a post-Battlestar Galactica show and it owes a lot to it thematically and (particularly recently) in tone. I like having it around. I want to see Summer Glau get fucked. It deserves a third semester.
The best thing about it: Summer Glau.
The worst thing about it: The logic of the time travel seems a bit fucked.
