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7 Days on the Breadline
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"Ah fuck it - the cunt bit me" - a Steve Irwin tribute
Alive: Back To The Andes
Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show
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The Apprentice
The Apprentice Series Three Final
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Battlestar Galactica Season 3
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Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion
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Being... N-Dubz
Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave
Bernard Matthews Golden Moments
Big Brother 2005
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Big Brother 2008 - It's a Wonderful Life (when you're not in it
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Big Brother 2010 final
Big Brother's Big Mouth
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Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class
Big Brother poetry
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Bionic Woman pre-air pilot
Bo! in the USA
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Body Shock: Half Ton Man
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Bring Back...Grange Hill
Britain's Got Talent Series 4
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
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In This Corner
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Inside Waco |
Prison Break 2
FOX
Spoilers up to episode 19
I could happily review Prison Break every week. There's certainly enough material. Each episode provides a season's worth of twists, fake outs, tight scrapes and cliffhangers. The union of prison drama and conspiracy thriller has turned from a marriage of convenience into a love match than makes Bobby and Whitney's look staid and mundane in comparison.
"That girl is so damp for him that the wallpaper in her surgery starts peeling off every time he rolls up his sleeve for his insulin jab."
It's not the only love match in the offing, either. Michael's chemistry with Dr Sarah Tancredi continues to sizzle like copper sulphate
poured down a drainage pipe. That girl is so damp for him that the wallpaper in her surgery starts peeling off every time he rolls up his sleeve for his insulin jab. She needs a beach towel on her chair when he's up in this piece. When they finally share a post-injection kiss (something smackhead Sarah must be no stranger to) it's around five hours before she stops levitating, gliding around her practice like The Gentlemen from Buffy.
"'I think I can reach him' she tells Michael's shrink. Oh I bet you do, you dirty little bitch although I think reach around is the term you're looking for."
She knows that the Blue Steel of Michael's eyes signals "DANGER Will Robinson" but she just can't resist his violating stare, washboard abs and labyrinthine tattoo. She recognises his sensitive side, it's clear. How many cons knock up an origami rose for you on your birthday?
Dr Tancredi is weird stalker girlfriend material, make no mistake. Following up on obscure leads on her obsession - tracking down his psychiatrist who reveals Michael's low latent inhibition which, as any fool knows, leads to genius in those of a high IQ. "I think I can reach him" she tells Michael 's shrink. Oh I bet you do, you dirty little bitch although I think reach around is the term you're looking for.
"Sarah is a lovely piece of pie and the only ass Michael is getting for the foreseeable future is beef pussy hairy man ass crack."
Michael feels the same way, showing the family attraction to weird women along with Lunk the Skunk's fatal attraction for Veronica Donovan, world's worst real-estate lawyer and primo plastic surgery candidate. And let's face it, Sarah is a lovely piece of pie and the only ass Michael is getting for the foreseeable future is beef pussy hairy man ass crack.
And I think it's safe to say that Homie Don't Play That.
"I guess we're supposed to feel uncomfortable at liking a racist murdering paedophile."
Which is more than could be said for T Bag the nation's favourite child rapist who holds down a bizarre level of fanlove thanks to Robert Knepper's compelling performance. I guess we're supposed to feel uncomfortable at liking a racist murdering paedophile. Personally I wouldn't be too gutted to see him get properly shanked and sold down the Fox River, well played and written though he is.
As the new episodes play out, the encouraging thing is that Prison Break has just got better post-hiatus. The reveal in the climactic episode 13 that Terence Steadman is still alive puts a whole new spin on things - as did the introduction of Michael and Linc's father. Not to mention the new dynamic of Kellerman and Vice-President versus The Company. New conflicts and power shifts are keeping everything fresh.
"This is Prison Break where ruthless killers walk the streets and good men are sentenced to death."
There is also the new problem of world's unluckiest teenager LJ who is now locked up for the murders of his mother and stepfather. I need hardly mention that he NEVER DONE IT as this is Prison Break where ruthless killers walk the streets and good men are sentenced to death. Well, alright where Lincoln is sentenced to death but you take my point.
"If they want LJ inside, dodging gang bummings and crooked bulls with Michael effecting some remote masterplan - that's fine by me."
Knowing as we do that Michael has a pathological need to rescue people, the possibility looms that a second series will involve LJ being busted out of prison. Many fans deride this idea, seeing it as an irredeemable shark jump for the show.
Maybe. Personally, I'm willing to put my faith in the writers and producers who have produced this little marvel. If they want LJ inside, dodging gang bummings and crooked bulls with Michael effecting some remote masterplan from his South American hideaway as the Feds close in - that's fine by me. I figured they've earned it.
The best thing about it: It still has the ability to surprise.
The worst thing about it: Episodes are leaking onto the Web in the wrong order.
The verdict on Prison Break : There's no escaping its dopeness.
Marks out of 10: 8.5
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REVIEWS (cont'd)
J-M
Jericho
John From Cincinnati
Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem
Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history
Journeyman
jPod
Keys To The Vip
The Kill Point
Kings
King Of Shaves advert
Life
The Life and Times of Tim
Life on Mars
Lip Service
Live From Studio Five
Louie
Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth
Loose Women
Lost
Lost Season 2
Lost Season 3 Finale
Lost Season 3: half-term report
Lost Season 3 Premiere
Lost Season 4 Half Term report
Lost Season 6 Premiere
Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno
Lost Series Finale
Luther
Luther Series One finale
Mad Men
Mad Men Season 2
Mad Men Season 2 Finale
Mad Men Season 3 Premiere
Mad Men Season 3 Finale
Mad Men Season 4
The Madness of Boy George
Mars Believe World Cup Campaign
Man vs Wild
Martina Cole's The Take
Mary Archer
The Mentalist
Mercy Series Premiere
Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs
Misfits
The Mitchell Brothers' Return
Mock the Week
Modern Family
Mongrels
Monkey Dust
Morales v Barrera III
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
My Family
My Name Is Earl
My Penis And I
My Supermodel Baby
N-R
Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts
Nigella
Neighbours 20th anniversary show
No Angels
No Heroics
Old Enough To Be His Mother
Oscars 2005
Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story
Pacific
Paradox
Party Animals
Party Down
The Persuasionists
Peaches Geldof: Teen America
Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares
The Peter Serafinowicz Show
PhoneShop
The Pick-up Artist
The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere
Pineapple Dance Studios
Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Prison Break
Prison Break 2
Prison Break Season Two: half-term report
Prison Break Season Two Premiere
Prison Break Season Two Finale
Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report
Pulling
Pulse
Pushing Daisies series premiere...
Richard and Judy
Rev
Rome Season One
S-T
Saxondale
The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive
The Secret Policemen's Ball
Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter
Sex Addict
Seymour Butts
Shameless
Shameless Season 4
Shane
Sherlock
Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game
The Shield
The Shield - Season Five Finale
The Shield - Season 6
The Shield series finale
Six Feet Under
Skins
Skins Season 2
Smoking Room
Sons of Anarchy
Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere
The Sopranos Season 6
Space Cadets
Spartacus: Blood and Sand
Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale
The Spy Who Stole My Life
State of the TV Nation Address
Stepkids In Love
Strike Back
Studs of Suburbia
Summer Heights High
Supernanny
Surviving Disaster
Take That... for the Record
Talk to me
Take Me Out
Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer
Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Thick Of It
The Thick of It Series 3
This Life +10
This World: Kidnap Cops
Top 30 TV Shows of 2010
Tower Block of Commons
Treme
True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox
Too Ugly For Love
True Blood
True Blood Season 2 Final
TV's Naughtiest Blunders
U-Z
Unanimous
Underbelly
Undercover Princesses
Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report
Veronica Mars Season Two
Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere
Veronica Mars Season Three finale
A Very Social Secretary
Vexed
Weeds
Weeds Season 3
Weeds Season 4
Weeds Season 5 Finale
Weeds Season 5 Premiere
When Fearne Met Peaches
When Lineker Met Maradona
Wimbledon coverage
The Wire Season 3
The Wire, Season 4
The Wire Season 5 Premiere
The Wire Series Finale
World Cup coverage
World Cup Final 2010
The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested
World's Deadliest Gangs
Worried About the Boy
X Factor 2005
X-Factor 2007
X-Factor 2008
X-Factor 2009
MISC REVIEWS
40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying
606 with Danny Baker
Amazon Review Scum
Blowjob monologues and the like
Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
An Illustrated History of Dis
Fooled By Randomness
Hip-hop
Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever
Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite
Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism
Morales v Barrera III
Music Sounds Better With You(tube)
NME cool list
Playlouder Reviews
Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke
Stan Collymore
The Streets
Vertigolf
War Winehouse!
We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite
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