British TV reviews and so much more. I've really just about had it with all you scumbags. Aerial Telly forever - worthless Twitter groupie slime never.
"a depressing but brilliant read.... a superbly written manifesto for nothing." Daniel Hart
Let's remember Michael Jackson doing what he did best: molesting young boys in the grounds of his high security estate
And Joe Jackson gets the dilznick
A 50-year-old paedophile died in Los Angeles recently. Weighing eight stone, ripped to the tits on painkillers, millions in debt, puncture marks on his arms, bald as Gail Porter but not as masculine, he was a sorry-ass sight. Contrary to Internet rumours he did not die because of eating 12-year-old nuts and, no, the autopsy did not reveal a 5 -year-old wiener in his stomach. The truth is that Michael Jackson's emaciated frame could no longer support his hopeless, painful, squalid, tragic, pathos saturated life.
"Contrary to Internet rumours he did not die because of eating 12-year-old nuts and, no, the autopsy did not reveal a 5 -year-old wiener in his stomach. The truth is that Michael Jackson's emaciated frame could no longer support his hopeless, painful, squalid, tragic, pathos saturated life."
There have been two popular reactions to Jackson's death. The first: "OMG! He woz a leDgend!! Rest in peace!!"; the second: "WTF?? the guy woz a peedo!! hello??!!!" And they are both wrong. Which is to say they are both right, but not fully. Ignoring his music, stagecraft and imagination is petty because at his best he was banging. Ignoring his predilection for wanking off boys, on the other hand, is crass because, you know, that behaviour's really not cool.
"Every douchebag has an opinion on the death of course and they come no more douchey than Joe Jackson's."
Quite a few things about Jackson are really not cool. Spewing anti-Semitic hate, bleaching his skin, mutilating his face into a grotesque hall of mirrors Diana Ross then lying about it to his army of slow reader fans who lapped it up like the gormless blank eyed zealots they are.
Every douchebag has an opinion on the death of course and they come no more douchey than Joe Jackson's. The Jackson family patriarch introduced his sons to both music and child abuse, regularly subjecting Michael to beatings that went a long way to delivering the broken manchild who would hole up in his fantasy estate with carefully selected ill children, slipping them Jesus Juice when the opportunity arose. The turd wasted no time in using the opportunity of his son's death to plug his new record label ("driven by Blu-ray technology" y'ken). What a fucking whore.
"Jackson suspected foul play . Well yeah, there's an abusive father for starters. A conspiracy of silence about his paedophilia and a twisted desire to keep the fucked up goose laying his golden eggs. That foul enough for you, Joe?"
Jackson told journalists of his son's death "I'm suspecting foul play somewhere". Well yeah, there's an abusive father for starters. A conspiracy of silence about his paedophilia, a repulsive gang of scumbag lawyers, a messiah complex and a twisted desire to keep the fucked up goose laying his golden eggs until the inevitable bitter end. That foul enough for you, Joe?
Then there's Al Sharpton weighing into the melee hogging as much of the limelight as one human being not directly related to Jackson can. Sharpton is demanding postage stamp reparations. He's on some "most of my heroes don't appear on no stamps" shit and Barack Obama is going to have to find a very polite way to tell him to go fuck himself. The portrayal of Jackson by the likes of Sharpton and Nation of Islam plankton as an uncompromising black man brought down by the white media is one of the more hilarious fictions that have circulated in recent years surrounding him.
