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REVIEWS

A-B

7 Days on the Breadline

9/11 Faker

10 Years Younger

24: Season 4

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Aerial Comment

"Ah fuck it - the cunt bit me" - a Steve Irwin tribute

Alive: Back To The Andes

Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show

Anti-Social Old Buggers

The Apprentice

The Apprentice Series Three Final

The Apprentice Series 3 half-term report

The Apprentice Season 4

The Apprentice Series 4 Finale

The Armstrongs

Arrested Development

Ashes to Ashes

Battlestar Galactica Season 3

Battlestar Galactica Season 3 finale

Battlestar Galactica Season 4

Battlestar Galactica Season 4 mid-season finale

Battlestar Galactica Series finale

Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion

Battlestar Galactica - The Plan

Beauty And The Geek

Being Human

Being... N-Dubz

Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave

Bernard Matthews Golden Moments

Big Brother 2005

Big Brother 2006 Launch Night

Big Brother 2007

Big Brother 2007: Get that chickenhead hoodrat out

Big Brother 2008

Big Brother 2008 - It's a Wonderful Life (when you're not in it

Big Brother 2008 - Mario must die

Big Brother 2008: Stuart tapped the compassion vending machine and it toppled over and fell on top of him

Big Brother 2010 final

Big Brother's Big Mouth

Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism

Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class

Big Brother poetry

Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism

Bionic Woman pre-air pilot

Bo! in the USA

Bodies

Bodies series finale

Body Shock: Half Ton Man

Bollocks To Cancer

Bonekickers

The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad Season 2 finale

Breaking Bad Season 3

Bring Back...Grange Hill

Britain's Got Talent Series 4

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

Bruce Forsyth - A Comedy Roast

Bully Beatdown

C-D

Californication

Carnivale

Caprica pilot

Castrating Galactica - why Faceman needs to can it

Catherine Tate Christmas Special

CBeebies website

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Celebrity Big Brother 2006

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China

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Come Dine With Me

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Coming Of Age

Community

Compulsion

The Contender

The Contender Season Two

Criminal Justice

Criminal Justice Season Two

The Cube

Cutting Edge: My Kid's Psychic

Cutting Edge: Pram Face

Damages

The Dark Side Of Porn

The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn

Dead Ringers

Deadwood

Deadwood - a lament

Deadwood Season 3

Derren Brown: The Heist

Derren Brown Investigates

Derren Brown's Russian Roulette

Derren Brown - Trick Or Treat

Dexter Season One

Dexter Season Two

Dexter Season 4 Finale

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Dispatches: The Big Heist

Doctor Who

Doctor Who Series 5 Premiere

Doctor Who Series 5 - Vincent and The Doctor

Dragons Den

Drive

E-I

EastEnders

Election 2005 coverage

Emily Parr - an apology

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Everybody Hates Chris

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Fix My Fat Head

FlashForward

FlashForward midseason report

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

Fonejacker

Friday Night Project

Generation Kill

Getting On

Glee

Going Cold Turkey

Gravity

Guys And Dolls

Hannah Bradbeer - wide forehead having X Factor goddess

Hard Sell: BT

Harper's Island

Heather Mills: what really happened

Heroes

Heroes Season One Finale

Hidden Lives - Three In A Bed

Home Time

House

How Not To Live Your Life

HSBC adverts

I'm All Shook Up: Parkinson's at 25

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, 2006

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2008

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2009

In This Corner

The Inbetweeners

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret

Inside Waco

REVIEWS | A-B | C-D | E-I | J-M | N-R | S-T | U-Z | MISC


Mercy Series Premiere

Mercy Series Premiere

NBC

To become a doctor you need to pay attention in school, ace your GCSEs, ace your A-levels, put in a bitching UCAS form, prepare for and execute terrifying interviews and gain acceptance on to a degree studying medicine.  Once there, you will work like a cunt for another five years. Once graduated, you will work like an even bigger cunt.  You will work inhuman shifts.  You will probably be taking drugs.  Occasionally you will turn on a television set and invariably your attention will be drawn towards a medical drama telling you that doctors are thick, know nothing about medicine and constantly need to be bailed out by nurses.  NBC's Mercy is one such drama.  It puts those uppity 10 years of training doctors in their place.  Because the nurses are the real heroes and don't you fucking forget it.

"Medical dramas like Mercy tell you that doctors know nothing about medicine and constantly need to be bailed out by nurses.  It puts those uppity doctors in their place. Because the nurses are the real heroes and don't you fucking forget it."

Yes, they go that line and I really wish they hadn't as it's got the makings of a good show.  Aerial Telly worked as an auxillary nurse back in his student days and he is aware that some doctors are incompetent douchebags but let's not overstate the case.  If you saw what nurses get up to on duty you would happily put your health in the hands of witchdoctors and shamens rather than risk a stay on an NHS ward.  Aerial Telly is not naming names.  Motherfucker, he's no whistleblower.

OK, the principals: Veronica Callahan (Taylor Schilling) is our hero and not just because she's the protagonist and a nurse and therefore a hero by definition, she's also a war hero because she's just back from a tour of Iraq.  She saw some crazy shit out there - a kid with his limbs blown off because he picked up a bomb he thought was a toy; a soldier with no arms and a colostomy bag (there's no world in which that is a winning combination). 

There's naught to us but shit and mincemeat, and Veronica knows it. She's angry, messed up and on antidepressants.  If she's not diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder by this show's end then my name is not Aerial Telly and I'm not the name your girl calls out when she comes.

"Sonia's not a charismatic sociopath who we root for in spite of ourselves - she's just a revolting dead-eyed man hating cretin like all prostitutes."

There has to be a sassy black friend of course, a role filled by Veronica's colleague Sonia (Jaime Lee Kirchner).  Sonia's main character point is that likes men for their money. In other words, she expects men to pay to have sex with her and this is presented as a lovable quirky thing about her like she collects beer mats or wears odd socks rather than, say, her being the flint-hearted acquisitive tart-with-no-heart prostitute she is.

Where do you go with a character like this?  Is her redemption that she marries a guy with a humble income but a heart of gold?  Why would we give her such a happy ending when she's such an unpleasant person? Or she marries rich and that's great because we're living in a fucking Jane Austen novel? She's not a charismatic sociopath like Patty Hewes or Vic Mackey who we root for in spite of ourselves - she's just a revolting dead-eyed man hating cretin like all prostitutes.  And yeah, she's from a rough neighbourhood.  Who the fuck isn't?

"Others are calling it a straight rip-off. I don't think that particular jack move make sense. It's very sharply written and, when it's not indulging the nursey fantasy that they are there to save patients from murderous doctors, it feels authentic."

Then there's rookie nurse Chloe (Michelle Trachtenberg) - as green as your lawn but willing to learn.  She could barely be soppier.

But everyone's got their flaws.  Veronica certainly has - struggling through an on-off marrige to Mike (Diego Klattenhoff) while struggling to avoid her Iraq mercy fuck Dr. Chris Sands (James Tupper) (mercy in the sense that, mercy me, it was good).  She drinks like an Atomic Kitten, lives with her alcoholic parents and generally does the dumb thing whenever possible.  She's you or me. But mostly you.

I'm sure NBC didn't realise they would be covering such similar ground to Showtime's Nurse Jackie although others are calling it a straight rip-off.  I don't think the timeline and logistics of that particular jack move make sense though.  It's very sharply written and, when it's not indulging the nursey fantasy that they are there to save patients from murderous doctors, it feels authentic.

But it's going to seriously piss me off if it continues with this "doctors: bad" shit.  Not to mention the prossie.

The best thing about it: Veronica. She's pretty cool for a fuck up.

The worst thing about it: The invitation to empathise with a misandrist prostitute.

The verdict on Mercy Series Premiere: A cautious welcome.

Marks out of 10: 7

 

 

Imagined: Friday, September 25, 2009


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REVIEWS (cont'd)

J-M

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

The Kill Point

Kings

King Of Shaves advert

Life

The Life and Times of Tim

Life on Mars

Lip Service

Live From Studio Five

Louie

Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season 3 Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Lost Season 4 Half Term report

Lost Season 6 Premiere

Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno

Lost Series Finale

Luther

Luther Series One finale

Mad Men

Mad Men Season 2

Mad Men Season 2 Finale

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men Season 3 Finale

Mad Men Season 4

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Martina Cole's The Take

Mary Archer

The Mentalist

Mercy Series Premiere

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

Misfits

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Mock the Week

Modern Family

Mongrels

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

My Supermodel Baby

 

N-R

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

No Heroics

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story

Pacific

Paradox

Party Animals

Party Down

The Persuasionists

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

PhoneShop

The Pick-up Artist

The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere

Pineapple Dance Studios

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report

Pulling

Pulse

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rev

Rome Season One

S-T

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

Sherlock

Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

The Shield series finale

Six Feet Under

Skins

Skins Season 2

Smoking Room

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Strike Back

Studs of Suburbia

Summer Heights High

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Take Me Out

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It Series 3

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Top 30 TV Shows of 2010

Tower Block of Commons

Treme

True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox

Too Ugly For Love

True Blood

True Blood Season 2 Final

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

U-Z

Unanimous

Underbelly

Undercover Princesses

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere

Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Vexed

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

Weeds Season 4

Weeds Season 5 Finale

Weeds Season 5 Premiere

When Fearne Met Peaches

When Lineker Met Maradona

Wimbledon coverage

The Wire Season 3

The Wire, Season 4

The Wire Season 5 Premiere

The Wire Series Finale

World Cup coverage

World Cup Final 2010

The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested

World's Deadliest Gangs

Worried About the Boy

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

X-Factor 2008

X-Factor 2009

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

606 with Danny Baker

Amazon Review Scum

Blowjob monologues and the like

Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Playlouder Reviews

Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

War Winehouse!

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite