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"a depressing but brilliant read.... a superbly written manifesto for nothing." Daniel Hart
Manny Pacquiao, the Mexicutioner, Harvester of Souls, is the greatest fighter that ever lived
Punks jump up to get beat down
They say nothing attracts a crowd like a\ funeral. So when WBC Lightweight Champion David Diaz stepped into the ring at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas to be beaten to death, he got a gracious welcome from the 8000 fight fans in the arena and it was a generous send off to one of the stand-up guys of boxing. But it was the entrance of his murderer, the beast, cold-blooded assassin Manny Pacquiao that really brought the crowd to its feet. Filipino men in the crowd held up "PACMAN MARRY ME" signs which seems unlikely in the staunchly Catholic Philippines (although the archipelago is no stranger to exploration of gender confusion). Aerial Telly doesn't make judgements. He just reports the facts, dammit.
The final brutal round in Spaniels (CAUTION: Features DEATH)
"They say nothing attracts a crowd like funeral. So when David Diaz stepped into the ring to be beaten to death he got a gracious welcome from the 8000 fight fans in the arena."
From the first round it was very clear how the night was going to go. Pacquiao beat Diaz to the punch, catching Diaz's punches on his gloves, beautifully working both the body and head then stepping out of the range of the bigger man. Cuts quickly opened on Diaz's right eye, the bridge of his nose and behind his ear. The gash over his eye was particularly vicious and no matter how much coagulant his corner poured in between rounds, it would open up early in the next round.
"Manny Pacquiao won every second of every round. His footwork was impeccable, his defence impregnable, his speed unmanageable, his power unimpeachable."
As exclusively predicted by Aerial Telly, Manny Pacquiao won every second of every round. He was not in trouble for even a fraction of a second. His footwork was impeccable, his defence impregnable, his speed unmanageable, his power unimpeachable. The end finally came after 9 punishing rounds, a straight left putting Diaz on his back. The referee immediately dispensed with the count and waved his arms over the prostrate Mexican, announcing Pacquiao as the greatest fighter who ever lived.
As Diaz lay dying on the canvas, Pacquiao showed he is one of the classiest murderers in boxing by postponing his celebrations to see how his victim was. Not many killers take the time to see their vanquished foes over to the other side. It was a nice touch.
"As Diaz lay dying on the canvas, Pacquiao showed he is one of the classiest murderers in boxing by postponing his celebrations to see how his victim was."
Let's be clear about Pacquiao's achievement. He started his career at 106 lbs and has now won a world title title at 135 lbs. He is fighting 29 lbs over his original fighting weight and miraculously taking his power with him. No one does this. Ever. He becomes the first Filipino lightweight champion, the first Filipino to win four world titles, and pound-for-pound the best fighter on the planet.
"Aerial Telly would have stopped this fight sometime during the ring walks. He would have bundled Diaz out of the building into a waiting black SUV"
Pacquiao's godlike trainer Freddie Roach must take a great deal of credit for his career. Everyone knew the young Pacquiao had savage power in his left hook but many considered him one-dimensional. The great Freddie Roach cultivated Pacquiao's straight right, along with improving his defence, ring generalship and conditioning turning him into a smart, tough-to-hit, two fisted, killing machine. A fearless warrior inside the ring, incurring Parkinson's Disease as a result, Freddie Roach is now one of the best trainers in the world and probably the calmest sanest person you could have in your corner.
Aerial Telly would have stopped this fight sometime during the ring walks. He would have bundled Diaz out of the building into a waiting black SUV with the engine running to speed him to a secret Tijuana safe house where he could hole up until the fuss died down.
"He has sent his emissary to kill as many Mexicans as it takes to them to heed his warnings, stop listening to Morrissey and turn back to God."
But it is not for Aerial Telly to interfere with God's will. He has sent the Mexicutioner to punish the Mexican people. What other explanation makes sense? He has sent his emissary to kill as many Mexicans as it takes for them to heed his warnings, stop listening to Morrissey and turn back to God.
The best thing about it: Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao.
The worst thing about it: The televised ritual slaughter of another innocent Mexican.
