Aerial Telly would like to thank you for your thanks. He agrees, it is a remarkable run of betting form. More accurately, a remarkable display of betting class because, as we know, form is temporary but class is permanent. Aerial "Money" Telly has won six of the seven bets tipped on his site and the question people are asking is "which is the greatest of his victories"? Maybe it was the bold lay of market favourite Martin O'Neill in the England manager market? Perhaps his acute and devastatingly accurate analysis of Mayweather v De La Hoya? Could spotting Jose Luis Castillo's decline before the Hatton fight be his finest hour? Could his tough-minded dismissal of the Ricky Hatton hype in the run-up to the Mayweather fight be the pinnacle? But that would mean ignoring his stunning Calzaghe v Kessler preview and prediction. All this before we even mention him tipping up the bet of the year in Big Brother. The weekend saw another of his bets romp home - Hopkins Calzaghe went the distance with no problem whatsoever. Even whiteboys got to shout: "motherfucker got game"

"The one that 'lost', Winky Wright to beat Bernard Hopkins only 'lost' in the sense that the so-called alleged 'judges' awarded the 'decision' to Hopkins"

The one posted bet that Aerial Telly has "lost" was Winky Wright to beat Bernard Hopkins and it only "lost" in the sense that the so-called alleged "judges" awarded the "decision" to Hopkins. It was clear to all intelligent observers of boxing that Winky Wright had won a narrow but clear victory over Borenard but the judges did Wright up like a kipper. But he didn't make a thing about it. He knew he'd been robbed. He knew there were brown paper envelopes stuffed with cash somehow involved. He knew there was greasing of palms and gnashing of teeth. He demonstrated unbelievable class and just quietly went on with his business

"Is it really any wonder his bookmaker was left a cum-stained, puncture wound riddled corpse with the face of Samuel Beckett and the liver of Charlie Parker?"

So in reality, Aerial Telly is 7-0 in his big money bets. And these are just the wagers he has posted publicly. If "people" could see the betting heroics that don't make the pages of his web presence they would be further astonished. Trust.

Is it any wonder he has to struggle to get bets placed? Is it really any wonder his bookmaker was left a cum-stained, puncture wound riddled corpse with the face of Samuel Beckett and the liver of Charlie Parker, trousers round ankles, butt cheeks in the air, saluting the sky and the scene of crime investigators like a hideous gargoyle bearing mute witness to the folly of betting against Aerial Telly? Can we really express surprise that Aerial Telly readers suffer the highest rate of girlfriend loss, sweetheart dumpage, honey deficiency, pie abandonment, pussy forfeiture, pum-pum deprivation, poon decline and wookie bereavement of any Internet users?

"Aerial Telly readers suffer the highest rate of girlfriend loss, sweetheart dumpage, honey deficiency, pie abandonment, pussy forfeiture, pum-pum deprivation, poon decline and wookie bereavement of any Internet users"

Aerial Telly told you that 1.44 was a silly price for Calzaghe. And, just 60 seconds into the fight, he was proved stunningly right as a counter right-hand from Hopkunt sent Joke to the canvas. Foolish over-optimistic patriotic punters - will you never learn? Hopkunt owned Joke in the first half of the fight, consistently landing the harder shots, showing superior defence and ring generalship and generally making the boy look like an amateur.

"Calslappy improved in the second half but don't kid yourself. Borenard won this fight. Joke's slaps, glancing blows and air punches do not constitute effective aggression"

Calslappy improved in the second half but don't kid yourself. Borenard won this fight. Joke's slaps, glancing blows and air punches do not constitute effective aggression. (And, incidentally, for a decent run down of how to score a professional prizefight check this). But this is boxing and the politricks must always be factored in. Calzaghe is a handsome action hero with a pleasing fight style and interview manner with a few fights left in his tank. Hopkins is a 43-year-old throwback responsible for more boring fights than Joe Bugner. If the history of boxing teaches us anything it is that you ignore the box office at your peril. And saying you're never going to lose to a whiteboy doesn't put bums on seats if you have a style your casual sports fan regards as turgid. The purists love Hopkins. The purists don't buy tickets. You get me?

There are important lessons to be learned from the weekend's action. But if you need to ask what they are then you'll never know. Suffice to say that you need to keep your girl on a short leash, remember to factor in political elements when wagering on boxing and never forget that Aerial Telly is a winner who will not be denied.

One love.

Imagined: 21st April 2008

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