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7 Days on the Breadline

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REVIEWS | A-B | C-D | E-I | J-M | N-R | S-T | U-Z | MISC


Inside Men

Inside Men

BBC1

The last time I saw Steven Mackintosh he was getting shot through the giblets by Mad "I'm crazy!" Alice on Luther and the last time I cared about him was when he played Nigel in Adrian Mole. He's one of those people who just seems to appear in a lot of shite (hello Camelot!) and rarely rises above his surroundings. Inside Men changes all that as not only is this a really good drama, he's really good in it. He plays John, a manager in a cash counting house. John, if I may borrow the vernacular of Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, is a stuttering prick – good at his job, conscientious to a fault and so, so eager to please it's sickening. He's in his 40s and just about to adopt a kid with wife Kirsty (Nicola Walker) so maybe it's time for him to man up, take that promotion he's been offered, up sticks and move to the north-west for added responsibility and an extra £300 a year? Or, you know, mastermind a £170 million heist from his own workplace.


"He's in his 40s and just about to adopt a kid so maybe it's time for him to man up, take that promotion, up sticks and move to the north-west for added responsibility and an extra £300 a year? Or, you know, mastermind a £170 million heist from his own workplace?"

"Don't speak unless spoken to. Be compliant and live to see another day" That's the advice they give to all counting house managers on armed robbery scenarios. But it's also how John has been living his whole life. Never answering back, never making a fuss, always scared. But that all changes one day in January when John rumbles worker drone Marcus (Warren Brown) and security tard Chris (Ashley Walters) in a scam that got £50,000 out of the facility a couple of grand at a time.

John's not angry, he's not even disappointed – he just wants to know how they did it. It's silly really, he tells them, taking all that risk for just a few grand. If you're going to do it, he reasons, take them for everything they've got. He's not fucking about either. Marcus and Chris are taken aback. They came into John's office small-scale embezzlers and they exit it plotters in the biggest cast heist in British history. How was work today, darling? Oh, you know...

"As Chris bleeds out, John picks up a gun and points it at him like he's fixing to finish off what the kneecapper started. Whatever is going on here, this wasn't the plan."Fast forward to September and the robbery. John is being "kidnapped" by some masked goons. At his home, a button man sticks a gun in his wife's tits. Counting house workers are forced to load crates full of cash into lorries. It all goes like a dream, unless you're Chris who gets kneecapped by one of the goons. As Chris bleeds out, John picks up a gun and points it at him like he's fixing to finish off what the kneecapper started. Whatever is going on here, this wasn't the plan. What's it all about?

Inside Men, it turns out, is about what is inside men. It's about the hierarchies groups of men instinctively form – who takes the lead, who blinks first. John's masterplan unleashes a beast within – an assertive, dynamic, long dormant primal force. He becomes a leader of men. He was the boss at work but he was never The Boss. His day has come. His smarts and diligence are now weapons and men fall in line behind him. It's armed robbery as personal development.

"Inside Men, it turns out, is about what is inside men. It's about the hierarchies groups of men instinctively form – who takes the lead, who blinks first. John's masterplan unleashes a beast within – an assertive, dynamic, long dormant primal force."

It works terrifically well. Mackintosh couldn't be better either as the submissive clock puncher of January or the steely crime boss of September. As the three co-conspirators justify their actions to their partners and to themselves they are pulled down a road you feel can only end badly but John feels in control for the very first time. Tony Basgallop (Worried about the Boy) writes a slick powerful take on the heist genre and both Barren Blown and Gashley Walturds put in good shifts as the two grunts. This will be on my best shows of 2012 list or my name's not Aerial "suck a dick a day, son" Telly.

The verdict on Inside Men: "My daddy was a bank robber but he never hurt nobody. He just struck out in Luther and Camelot was bummy."

Marks out of 10: 8

 

 

Imagined: Wednesday, February 1, 2012


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REVIEWS (cont'd)

J-M

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

The Kill Point

Kings

King Of Shaves advert

Life

The Life and Times of Tim

Life on Mars

Lip Service

Live From Studio Five

Louie

Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season 3 Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Lost Season 4 Half Term report

Lost Season 6 Premiere

Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno

Lost Series Finale

Luther

Luther Series One finale

Mad Men

Mad Men Season 2

Mad Men Season 2 Finale

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men Season 3 Finale

Mad Men Season 4

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Martina Cole's The Take

Mary Archer

The Mentalist

Mercy Series Premiere

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

Misfits

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Mock the Week

Modern Family

Mongrels

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

My Supermodel Baby

 

N-R

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

No Heroics

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story

Pacific

Paradox

Party Animals

Party Down

The Persuasionists

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

PhoneShop

The Pick-up Artist

The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere

Pineapple Dance Studios

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report

Pulling

Pulse

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rev

Rome Season One

S-T

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

Sherlock

Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

The Shield series finale

Six Feet Under

Skins

Skins Season 2

Smoking Room

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Strike Back

Studs of Suburbia

Summer Heights High

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Take Me Out

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It Series 3

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Top 30 TV Shows of 2010

Tower Block of Commons

Treme

True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox

Too Ugly For Love

True Blood

True Blood Season 2 Final

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

U-Z

Unanimous

Underbelly

Undercover Princesses

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

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Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Vexed

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

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When Fearne Met Peaches

When Lineker Met Maradona

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The Wire Season 3

The Wire, Season 4

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World Cup coverage

World Cup Final 2010

The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested

World's Deadliest Gangs

Worried About the Boy

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

X-Factor 2008

X-Factor 2009

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

606 with Danny Baker

Amazon Review Scum

Blowjob monologues and the like

Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Playlouder Reviews

Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

War Winehouse!

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite