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REVIEWS

A-B

7 Days on the Breadline

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24: Season 4

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Aerial Comment

"Ah fuck it - the cunt bit me" - a Steve Irwin tribute

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The Apprentice Series Three Final

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Arrested Development

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Big Brother 2010 final

Big Brother's Big Mouth

Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism

Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class

Big Brother poetry

Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism

Bionic Woman pre-air pilot

Bo! in the USA

Bodies

Bodies series finale

Body Shock: Half Ton Man

Bollocks To Cancer

Bonekickers

The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad Season 2 finale

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Bring Back...Grange Hill

Britain's Got Talent Series 4

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

Bruce Forsyth - A Comedy Roast

Bully Beatdown

C-D

Californication

Carnivale

Caprica pilot

Castrating Galactica - why Faceman needs to can it

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In This Corner

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The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret

Inside Waco

REVIEWS | A-B | C-D | E-I | J-M | N-R | S-T | U-Z | MISC


The Friday Night Project

The Friday Night Project

Channel 4

In a nutshell: The bit between Friday evening and Saturday morning.

The 411: Project. Doesn't sound good does it? Only schoolchildren and middle management have 'projects'. And both groups are verminous filth who serve no function in society other than their own propagation, both trading in human misery.

Something they have in common with the makers of late night television, in fact. The Friday Night Project has an illustrious history of pap to live down to. Denise Van Outen's Something For The Weekend - indisputably the Worst Programme The World Has Ever Seen whose sole achievement was to make Police Academy 6 look highbrow.

"The Project has an illustrious history of pap to live down to..."

It's also a pale descendant of The Word - that swaggering gross-out monster of the mid-Nineties who got away with the stunning ineptness of Terry Christian with a bagful of 'tude, stellar live performances (Nirvana doing Teen Spirit, Public Enemy doing Shut 'Em Down) and an unerring eye for controversy.

The Project features a mixture of topical comment, and hidden camera 'stunts'. Guests complete challenges with the public and participate in themed comedy throughout the show. Sounds great, huh?

Jimmy Carr, (on presenting duty with fellow comedians Rob Rouse, Sharon Horgan and Lucy Montgomery), seems to have appeared in the mainstream with an audible pop. One moment he's providing mildly amusing comments on I Remember 2004 at two in morning, the next he's on Des and Mel providing mildly amusing comments for them. An almost effortless elevation which this show could put a stop to as quickly as it started.

He's made to feel uneasy by the weekly guest presenter who foists themselves on the programme. First-up, Vinnie Jones who had the dubious pleasure of awkward interaction with the house incumbents. As one-dimensional as a presenter as he was a footballer, he still outshone the meandering nitwits on the sofa.

Yet he was far from comfortable reading out the topical funnies from the Autocue of Death. Why should he be? He's a bonehead with no comic timing and no conception of his own lack of importance. Professional presenting ain't rocket science but there's a definite art to it. If there weren't then Charlotte Church would be presenting Have I Got News For You? and Des Lynam would be an international gigolo.

While all this goes on Sharon Horgan and Lucy Montgomery have Shoot Me written across their foreheads - a couple more weeks of this and I'll gladly oblige. The new guidelines on mercy killing should see me in the clear. 'Not strive officiously to keep alive'? Show the court five minutes of this and there isn't a jury in the land that will convict me.

This Celebrity Bum of the Week parade isn't going to help a programme already on dicey ground. And next week it's Kelly Osbourne - a woman whose very existence could have been invented to illustrate the concept of futility.

Its main problem is it seems to have fallen between two stools in nodding towards mainstream television while looking and feeling like a dangerous late-night anything-can-happen kind of show. Jonathan Ross at least has a consistency of tone - you know what you're getting.

"the viewer feels like he's being spit-roasted between Des O'Connor and Terry Christian..."

So, the viewer feels like he's being spit-roasted between Des O'Connor and Terry Christian. And nobody, with the possible exception of Melanie Sykes, deserves that.

What type of project is it? The type of project that gets half-mauled by the dog, has thumbprints over it and invariably gets marked "3/100 See Me after school".

The best thing about it: Jimmy Carr - still quite funny

The worse thing about it: The Autocue. It just keeps on working.

The verdict on Friday Night Project: Best argument for 24 hour drinking I've seen

Marks out of 10: 4


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REVIEWS (cont'd)

J-M

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

The Kill Point

Kings

King Of Shaves advert

Life

The Life and Times of Tim

Life on Mars

Lip Service

Live From Studio Five

Louie

Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season 3 Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Lost Season 4 Half Term report

Lost Season 6 Premiere

Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno

Lost Series Finale

Luther

Luther Series One finale

Mad Men

Mad Men Season 2

Mad Men Season 2 Finale

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men Season 3 Finale

Mad Men Season 4

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Martina Cole's The Take

Mary Archer

The Mentalist

Mercy Series Premiere

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

Misfits

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Mock the Week

Modern Family

Mongrels

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

My Supermodel Baby

 

N-R

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

No Heroics

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story

Pacific

Paradox

Party Animals

Party Down

The Persuasionists

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

PhoneShop

The Pick-up Artist

The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere

Pineapple Dance Studios

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report

Pulling

Pulse

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rev

Rome Season One

S-T

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

Sherlock

Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

The Shield series finale

Six Feet Under

Skins

Skins Season 2

Smoking Room

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Strike Back

Studs of Suburbia

Summer Heights High

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Take Me Out

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It Series 3

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Top 30 TV Shows of 2010

Tower Block of Commons

Treme

True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox

Too Ugly For Love

True Blood

True Blood Season 2 Final

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

U-Z

Unanimous

Underbelly

Undercover Princesses

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere

Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Vexed

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

Weeds Season 4

Weeds Season 5 Finale

Weeds Season 5 Premiere

When Fearne Met Peaches

When Lineker Met Maradona

Wimbledon coverage

The Wire Season 3

The Wire, Season 4

The Wire Season 5 Premiere

The Wire Series Finale

World Cup coverage

World Cup Final 2010

The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested

World's Deadliest Gangs

Worried About the Boy

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

X-Factor 2008

X-Factor 2009

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

606 with Danny Baker

Amazon Review Scum

Blowjob monologues and the like

Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Playlouder Reviews

Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

War Winehouse!

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite