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10 Years Younger
24: Season 4
24: Season 5
24 Season 5 finale
24: Season 6
30 Rock
Abi Titmuss
Aerial Telly Awards 2005
Aerial Telly Awards 2006
Aerial Telly Awards 2007
Aerial Telly search queries
Aerial Telly search queries 2
Aerial Telly search queries 3
Aerial Comment
Alive: Back To The Andes
Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show
Anti-Social Old Buggers
The Apprentice
The Apprentice Series Three Final
The Apprentice Series 3 half-term report
The Apprentice Season 4
The Apprentice Series 4 Finale
The Armstrongs
Ashes to Ashes
Balderdash And Piffle
Battered Men: Hidden Lives
Battlestar Galactica Season 3
Battlestar Galactica Season 3 finale
Battlestar Galactica Season 4
Battlestar Galactica Season 4 mid-season finale
Beauty And The Geek
Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave
Bernard Matthews Golden Moments
Big Brother 2005
Big Brother 2006 Launch Night
Big Brother 2007
Big Brother 2007: Get that chickenhead hoodrat out
Big Brother 2008
Big Brother 2008 - It's a Wonderful Life (when you're not in it, bitch
Big Brother 2008 - Mario must die
Big Brother 2008: Stuart tapped the compassion vending machine and it toppled over and fell on top of him
Big Brother's Big Mouth
Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism
Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class
Big Brother poetry
Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism
Bionic Woman pre-air pilot
Bo! in the USA
Bodies
Bodies series finale
Body Shock: Half Ton Man
Bollocks To Cancer
Bonekickers
The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence
Breaking Bad
Bremner, Bird and Fortune
Bring Back...Grange Hill
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Buffy the Career Slayer?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Californication
Carnivale
Catherine Tate Christmas Special
CBeebies website
Celebrity Big Brother
Celebrity Big Brother 2006
Celebrity Big Brother 2007
Celebrity Fit Club
Celebrity Love Island
The Charlotte Church Show
China
Christmas television review 2006
Comic Relief Does The Apprentice
Compulsion
The Contender
The Contender Season Two
Criminal Justice
Cutting Edge: My Kid's Psychic
Cutting Edge: Pram Face
Damages
The Dark Side Of Porn
The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn
Dead Ringers
Deadwood
Deadwood - a lament
Deadwood Season 3
Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns
Derren Brown: The Heist
Derren Brown's Russian Roulette
Derren Brown - Trick Or Treat
Dexter Season One
Dexter Season Two...
Dispatches: The Big Heist
Doctor Who
Dragons Den
Drive
EastEnders
Election 2005 coverage
Emily Parr - an apology
Escape to the Legion
Euro 2008 TV coverage
Everybody Hates Chris
Extraordinary People - The Girl Who Makes Miracles
Extras
Extras Christmas special
Fat Beauty Contest
Feel The Force
Firefly - The Complete Series
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
Fonejacker
Friday Night Project
Going Cold Turkey
Guys And Dolls
Heather Mills: what really happened
Heroes
Heroes Season One Finale
Hidden Lives - Three In A Bed
House
HSBC adverts
I'm All Shook Up: Parkinson's at 25
I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here
I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, 2006
In This Corner
The Inbetweeners
Inside Waco
It's Me Or The Dog
Jericho
John From Cincinnati
Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem
Joss Stone Cadbury's Flake advert
Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history
Journeyman
jPod
Keys To The Vip
Keys To The Vip update - Aerial Telly bringing "people" together
The Kill Point
King Of Shaves advert
Life on Mars
Life
Loose Women
Lost
Lost Season 2
Lost Season Three Finale
Lost Season 3: half-term report
Lost Season 3 Premiere
Lost Season Four Half Term report
Mad Men
The Madness of Boy George
Mars Believe World Cup Campaign
Man vs Wild
Mary Archer
Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs
The Mitchell Brothers' Return
Monkey Dust
Morales v Barrera III
My Family
My Name Is Earl
My Penis And I
Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts
Nigella
Neighbours 20th anniversary show
No Angels
Old Enough To Be His Mother
Oscars 2005
Party Animals
Peaches Geldof: Teen America
Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares
The Peter Serafinowicz Show
The Pick-up Artist
Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Prison Break
Prison Break 2
Prison Break Season Two: half-term report
Prison Break Season Two Premiere
Prison Break Season Two Finale
Pulling |
Derren Brown's Russian Roulette
Channel 4
You can't pick up a newspaper these days without some lollygagger telling you there are too many guns on TV.
This is nonsense, of course. There aren't
enough guns on TV.
You can never have too many guns on TV. Yet still this vicious
anti-gun prejudice remains.
"There aren't enough guns on TV. You can never have too many guns on TV. Yet still this vicious anti-gun prejudice remains."
My idea involving Kathy Lette,
a revolver with six
live rounds and a dancing bear was
cruelly turned down by HBO (though the
newly sophisticated Channel 5 are expressing
an interest as I write).
Derren Brown's understanding of the innate goodness of guns
brought forth his Derren Brown's Russian Roulette stunt where a member of
the public, chosen by Brown from 12,000 applicants, loaded
a revolver with a single bullet. Then it would be Brown's task
to figure out which chamber the round was in before firing
the gun at his own noggin.
The bulk of the programme was taken up by whittling down the
final 1000 applicants to five and then one by a series of psychological
tests to test their suggestibility and his ability to read
them.
When James, the lucky individual, was chosen
the trick was based on Derren's ability to read which chamber
of the six (helpfully labelled by a shadowy gun expert with
a Real IRA pixilated head) he had placed the bullet in. After
James loaded the gun, Brown pulled the trigger of the Smith & Wesson handgun twice while it was jammed to his temple. So far, so
splendid.
Then he quickly turned his aim towards the sandbag that was
to absorb the live round. He squeezed the trigger and... nothing.
No bang, no rush of relief. Just the click-clack of the gun
hammer. He had got the wrong chamber.
"Derren Brown retains a dark, shamanic presence without ever lapsing into Blaine's chumpish, end-of-pier mysticism"
A horrendous two-minute wait followed as Brown seemed transfixed
by the possibility that he could fail. He quickly snapped begun
to his temple, squeezed the trigger once and then turned and
shot the live round into the sandbag. The credits rolled as
he embraced James who have watched the drama from behind a
Perspex screen.
Where this was genuine or just showmanship it was a horribly
compelling moment making the audience complicit in this voyeurism.
It was almost unwatchable, yet you couldn't tear your eyes
away.
If his demeanour afterwards was anything to go by the stunt
was for real. His usual unshakeable confidence replaced by
the look of a man who's just walked over his own grave.
As David Blaine rapidly becomes a national Aunt Sally as cheeseburgers
dangled by toy helicopters fly past his glass house over the
Thames, Derren Brown retains a dark, shamanic presence without ever
lapsing into Blaine's chumpish, end-of-pier mysticism.
Respect is due.
 Contact
Aerial Telly
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AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
10 reasons why you're scum if you smoke
2007: your relationshit is going nowhere
2008 - Napoleon Boneypie finally faces her Waterloo.
50 ways to grieve your lover
Aerial Telly - Black Irish bastard with the heart of a warrior and the soul of a poet
Aerial Telly's favourite TV critics
Aerial Telly - high functioning sociopath with narcissistic tendencies
Aerial Telly is not saying he had sex with Kate McCann but....
Aerial Telly loves Joni Mitchell but Little Green is not a deeply moving account of a mother's love for her child. It is an account of how Joni Mitchell gave up her child for money, fame and cock
Aerial Telly's favourite TV critics
Aerial Telly - sensitive, damaged, wounded yet lionhearted when it comes to the crunch
Aerial Telly will not be sexing Doctor Kate McCann
Amy, for the love of God eat some chips you loopy cunt
Apology for slavery
The big veiny cock arms of love are strangling Brad Pitt
Gerald McClellan - dog murdering bastard who felt God's fury
Get stuffed you creeps - Aerial Telly is the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it
Give me any backchat and I'll circumcise your face with a knife dipped in shit
God bless the ginger balls of our brave assassin Prince
Got the time, bruv?
Greta Scacchi, insane cock-crazed beauty who boned her cousin
Handsome, talented and a sensational lay - but life is not all roses for Aerial Telly
Happy Christmas cock smokers
Having trouble with your long-turd relationshit? Relax, it's not just you.
It was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks
Kate McCann requests Aerial Telly phone number.
Ladies - time to ditch the borefriend and get with a real man
Let's get this straight - they drugged her, killed her, sat on her body for three weeks then dumped her in the ocean? Fuck you, Johnny Incompetentos...
The Mamas and the Papas rocked
Mea culpa - you a cunta
"Meet the parents" or "destroy what is left of her shattered self-esteem"
Natasha Collins and Mark Speight, saying NO to drugs and the self pitying twerps who use them
Never forgive, never forget, never for fun
Never mind that the case against them stinks like a hogwhore's cunt - just keep bullying the parents
No, Foxy Knoxy - Aerial Telly will not be representing your interests
OK Peter Hill, Daily Express "editor", I'm calling you out, you lying douchebag punk motherfucker shitbag son of a bitch
She came again today
So, the girl you love has got a ginger borefriend
So, you finally cooked for her - is there anything in life that you can't fuck up?
So, you're on holiday with your girl
So, you finally settled for what you knew you could hang on to
Stop your nonsense, ladies...Aerial Telly is single, sane and straight
Sympathy For The Devil
Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?
You're the only Aerial Telly reader whose girlfriend is safe from him
Your breath smells like a thousand miles of shit.
AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO BETTING
200,000 undersexed schlubs have the weekend of their lives after following Aerial Telly's betting advice
Aerial Telly's bookie - rest in peace, loser
Aerial Telly - love and compassion in his heart, cash money in his wallet and your girl on his jock
Aerial Telly's refusal to take inferior prices on Miguel Cotto means he wins AGAIN
Aerial Telly shows a hell of a lot of class by not celebrating yet another night of betting glory
Aerial Telly wins crushing victory against forces of darkness - bookmaker on suicide watch
Amir Khan World Champion before the end of the year? Get the fuck out of here.
The beast Miguel Cotto is going to buttfuck Antonio Margarito, piss in his face, then stomp him to death in front of a horrified bipartisan crowd as Margarito's wife weeps bitter tears before swearing revenge against the savage Puerto Rican and all his countrymen.
Bernard Hopkins v Joe Calzaghe is going the distance
Big Brother betting. Brian at 1.83 - have you freaks lost your minds?
Cotto v Margarito - Aerial Telly's boundless compassion means he can't get a wedge on at the correct price
Joe Calzaghe is going to beat Mikkel Kessler
Listen up, fuckwads - Floyd Mayweather to beat Oscar De La Hoya on points at anything over 8/11 is the bet of the year
Manny Pacquiao, the Mexicutioner, has killed more Mexicans than the maquiladoras
Manny Pacquiao, the Mexicutioner, Harvester of Souls, is the greatest fighter that ever lived
O'Neill at 4.5? Lay that motherfucker with everything you've got
OK, you Appalachian pissdrinkers get this - Winky Wright to beat Bernard Hopkins at evens is a phenomenal bet, the type that comes around once a century
Ricky Fatton CAN beat Floyd Mayweather. But the value is Ugly Boy Floyd at 1.57
Scandinavian betting giant's eyes water as they take a balls deep ass fucking from Aerial Telly
Yes, Aerial Telly puts his money where his miggedy mouth is
You'd have to be a total kiddy fiddler not to back Ricky Hatton against Jose Luis Castillo when Bet Direct are offering 1.62
TV REVIEWS (cont'd)
Pushing Daisies series premiere...
Richard and Judy
Rome Season One
Saxondale
The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive
The Secret Policemen's Ball
Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter
Sex Addict
Seymour Butts
Shameless
Shameless Season 4
Shane
The Shield
The Shield - Season Five Finale
The Shield - Season 6
Six Feet Under
Skins
Skins Season 2
Smoking Room
The Sopranos Season 6
Space Cadets
The Spy Who Stole My Life
State of the TV Nation Address
Stepkids In Love
Studs of Suburbia
Summer Heights High
Supernanny
Surviving Disaster
Take That... for the Record
Talk to me
Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer
The Thick Of It
This Life +10
This World: Kidnap Cops
Too Ugly For Love
TV's Naughtiest Blunders
Unanimous
Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report
Veronica Mars Season Two
Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere
Veronica Mars Season Three finale
A Very Social Secretary
Weeds
Weeds Season 3
When Lineker Met Maradona
Wimbledon coverage
The Wire Season 3
The Wire, Season 4
The Wire Season 5 Premiere
The Wire Series Finale
World Cup coverage
World's Deadliest Gangs
X Factor 2005
X-Factor 2007
Zoo Magazine adverts
FILM REVIEWS
28 Weeks Later
2 Days In Paris
American Gangster
Apocalypto
Atonement
The Bank Job
The Bourne Ultimatum
Control
Dawn Of The Dead
The Departed
The Descent
Fahrenheit 9/11
Hard Candy
Ils (Them)
In Bruges
Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Lust, Caution
Notes On A Scandal
Once
Open Water
Pan's Labyrinth
Rocky Balboa
Saw
Super Size Me
United 93
When the Levees Broke
Zodiac
MISC REVIEWS
40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying
Amazon Review Scum
Aerial Telly forever - Birmingham arts scene scum never
Blowjob monologues and the like
Ellen MacArthur
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
An Illustrated History of Dis
Fooled By Randomness
Hip-hop
Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever
Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite
Morales v Barrera III
Music Sounds Better With You(tube)
NME cool list
Paralympics
Playlouder Reviews
Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke
Stan Collymore
The Streets
Vertigolf
War Winehouse!
We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite
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