Aerial Telly is happy with his web presence and believes it is a suitable manifestation of his inevitable destiny of being television incarnate, television in the form of man, one with the telly, immutable and indivisible from the soul of telly. Nonetheless he has recently considered relaunching the place as the Amy Winehouse site. For the horse- faced semite is everything he loves about television: funny, intelligent, talented, unpredictable with something of the Devil in her. Rather like Goethe's Mephistopheles she is "that Power that wills forever evil, yet does forever good". She's a lot like Aerial Telly in that respect. Her appearance on Never Mind the Buzzcocks last week further cemented her as a reliable source of water cooler jabber and old-fashioned stock car smash up entertainment.

"Amy would 'rather have cat Aids' than work with Katie Melua. Can you conceive of two more different artists? Melua is the Ned Flanders of Jazz."

She started off engagingly enough - telling how Tim Westwood likes to be greeted by explosion sound effects as he enters his house. But it soon became quite clear that Amy was very drunk. She was handled brilliantly by Simon Amstell who sensibly refused her demands for more drink telling her to avoid her after show meeting with Pete Doherty and do something with Katie Melua. "I'd rather have cat Aids, thank you" she responded which I think was fair enough given that she has been shamelessly lumped in with the walking hologram Melua in the past. Can you conceive of two more different artists? Melua is the Ned Flanders of jazz.

"Simon explained her presence as 'part of the BBC's new remit - more Jews, less carbon emissions'. So Mel Gibson was right."

Simon stopped Amy from going totally over the edge by playing on their shared Jewish heritage, explaining her presence as "part of the BBC's new remit - more Jews, less carbon emissions". So Mel Gibson was right. He suggested more than once that she was on crack. "Do I look like Russell Brand?" She asked. "Yes!" said Amstell causing Amy to nod shamefacedly in agreement. She's wishing she never had that new hairdo from Crackhead Cutz now. She proved herself knowledgeable on a range of subjects, however. When a discussion broke out on whether or not Ben Elton had sold out she chipped in "I don't think there's such a thing as integrity or being a sell-out - I just think he's a wanker". Can't fault her logic - Is there a spare seat on Question Time this week?

"Throughout his excellent run on PopWorld Amstell demonstrated a sharp understanding of the fundamental absurdity of pop music without ever coming off as cynical or snide."

Considering she spat in his direction at one point it was remarkably good-natured banter between her and Amstell. "This isn't even a pop quiz any more" he told her "It's an intervention, Amy." Amstell is an excellent replacement for Mark Lamarr's caustic deadpan barbs. Throughout his flawless run on PopWorld he demonstrated a sharp understanding of the fundamental absurdity of pop music without ever coming off as cynical or snide. Amy, on the other hand, was outrageous and hilarious and Back To Black is the shiznit.

The best thing about it: It's the Simon and Amy show!

The worst thing about it: Penny King - the type of performance you expect from somebody who used to fuck Rory Bremner.

The verdict on Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks: "I told you I was trouble - you know that I'm no good"

Marks out of 10: 8

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