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REVIEWS | A-B | C-D | E-I | J-M | N-R | S-T | U-Z | MISC


The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn

The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn

Channel 4

You can never have too much wookie in Channel Four's book. Hell, no. Despite claims to the contrary there's nothing the network likes better than a spuriously justified voyeuristic gaze at the seamier side of this thing called life. Like its reckless sibling violence, sex demands the attention of programme makers simply because - good or bad - it always bumps up the viewing figures and makes publicising the show as uncomplicated as pushing cocaine to TV presenters.

"Sex demands the attention of programme makers simply because - good or bad - it makes publicising the show as uncomplicated as pushing cocaine to TV presenters."

So a second season for the Dark Side of Porn, the channel's look at how beastly the Adult Entertainment Industry is was as safe a bet as you get in television. The series opener Amateur Porn featured Mandy, a young porn producer specialising in a home-made filth, and Mike, a producer who had put together a compilation DVD of him shagging his ex-girlfriends.

"Her sales technique is to walk up to young single men with the gambit 'do you want to have sex with a porn star?' which beats the hell out of 'any accidents or injuries in the past four years?'"

Mandy, an attractive if slightly brassy young woman, specialises in gonzo porn, picking up young single men on the street to appear in her films. The young men fulfil their porn star fantasies and Mandy doesn't have to pay them - you quickly learn that there's always a bottom line with Mandy and it's not artistic integrity. Her sales technique is to walk up to young single men with the gambit "do you want to have sex with a porn star?" which beats the hell out of "any accidents or injuries in the past four years?".

Perhaps unsurprisingly, many flee for the hills prompting Mandy to chase after them promising "pussy" and "hot sex" like some deranged poster girl for Tourette's. Mandy reckons she has a success rate of one in six on the initial approach although many fail to turn up for the follow-up meeting. You see girls, when we say that we want you do the approaching we do mean it, just make it a bit less rapey. And ditch the film crew.

"You see girls, when we say that we want you do the approaching we do mean it, Just make it a bit less rapey. And ditch the film crew."

Those that do turn up to the shoot are often unable to perform under the stressful conditions of having a bunch of people watch them at it. And it can't help having Mandy looming over them with a camera saying things like "that's right - stick it up her cunt". I mean really - does she kiss her mother with that mouth?

We soon discover that she does when she has a home screening of one of her films with her mam and granny. It's all too much for Gran who makes a bolt for the kitchen after watching a few of Mandy's potty mouthed street approaches.

On the other side of the country, we're introduced to Mike. Mike was born with spina bifida and suffered bullying at school and sees his involvement in amateur porn as a validation of his self-worth. Battering his former girlfriend with a kettle, however, landed him with a GBH conviction and he certainly does seem to have some issues with women and the fact that it's only OK to hit them if they hit you first.

"She tells her dad that his little girl is going to be appearing sucking violent criminal cock on a DVD near him very soon."

Mike not only persuaded all his ex-girlfriends to be filmed having sex with him, he got them to sign release forms so that he could do whatever he damn well pleasey with the footage. There's an extended conversation with his colossally stupid ex as she refuses to take responsibility for her actions, has Mike's name removed from a tattoo and tells her dad that his little girl is going to be appearing sucking violent criminal cock on a DVD near him very soon.

Daddy seems to take the news quite well although he confides to the film-makers he "feels like dying". This would be quite a solemn moment if we didn't know perfectly well that the entire film crew had cracked one off to the misogynist gimp fucking his daughter's brains out an hour earlier. "For what it's worth, I think she's got a nice rack" is just one of the things the film crew do not say in response (I am happy to report).

"This would be quite a solemn moment if we didn't know perfectly well that the entire film crew had cracked one off to the misogynist gimp fucking his daughter's brains out an hour earlier."

So, score another one on the Channel 4 "pornography is bad m'kay?" scoresheet. Don't get me wrong - pornography is a dirty grubby business filled with dirty grubby people. But presenting women as the victims of pornography rather than the eager active participants they are is to shamelessly misrepresent the situation. Certainly it's exploitative - what industry isn't? But you'll notice that Mandy wasn't cold calling women to appear in porn films. Have you ever wondered why, in an industry that has a notoriously high turnover of staff and constantly requires new talent they never need to go on recruitment drives?

"Everybody's getting fucked at their work. Some people are lucky enough to come as well. They are to be envied, not patronised."

It's because the women in the industry enjoy it. They know they've got it good. They're getting fucked and they're getting paid. And it beats working in a cake shop.

Everybody's getting fucked at their work. Some people are lucky enough to come as well. They are to be envied, not patronised.

Disclaimer: the names have been changed to protect the anonymity of the participants. And because I can't remember them.

The best thing about it: Mandy's street walk ups.

The worst thing about it: Mike - an unpleasant little creep.

The verdict on The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn: Another diverting Channel 4 look at things we really shouldn't be looking at.

Marks out of 10: 7


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REVIEWS (cont'd)

J-M

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

The Kill Point

Kings

King Of Shaves advert

Life

The Life and Times of Tim

Life on Mars

Lip Service

Live From Studio Five

Louie

Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season 3 Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Lost Season 4 Half Term report

Lost Season 6 Premiere

Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno

Lost Series Finale

Luther

Luther Series One finale

Mad Men

Mad Men Season 2

Mad Men Season 2 Finale

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men Season 3 Finale

Mad Men Season 4

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Martina Cole's The Take

Mary Archer

The Mentalist

Mercy Series Premiere

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

Misfits

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Mock the Week

Modern Family

Mongrels

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

My Supermodel Baby

 

N-R

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

No Heroics

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story

Pacific

Paradox

Party Animals

Party Down

The Persuasionists

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

PhoneShop

The Pick-up Artist

The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere

Pineapple Dance Studios

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report

Pulling

Pulse

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rev

Rome Season One

S-T

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

Sherlock

Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

The Shield series finale

Six Feet Under

Skins

Skins Season 2

Smoking Room

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Strike Back

Studs of Suburbia

Summer Heights High

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Take Me Out

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It Series 3

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Top 30 TV Shows of 2010

Tower Block of Commons

Treme

True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox

Too Ugly For Love

True Blood

True Blood Season 2 Final

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

U-Z

Unanimous

Underbelly

Undercover Princesses

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere

Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Vexed

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

Weeds Season 4

Weeds Season 5 Finale

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When Fearne Met Peaches

When Lineker Met Maradona

Wimbledon coverage

The Wire Season 3

The Wire, Season 4

The Wire Season 5 Premiere

The Wire Series Finale

World Cup coverage

World Cup Final 2010

The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested

World's Deadliest Gangs

Worried About the Boy

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

X-Factor 2008

X-Factor 2009

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

606 with Danny Baker

Amazon Review Scum

Blowjob monologues and the like

Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Playlouder Reviews

Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

War Winehouse!

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite