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The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn
Channel 4
You can never have too much wookie in Channel Four's book. Hell, no. Despite claims to the contrary there's nothing the network likes better than a spuriously justified voyeuristic gaze at the seamier side of this thing called life. Like its reckless sibling violence, sex demands the attention of programme makers simply because - good or bad - it always bumps up the viewing figures and makes publicising the show as uncomplicated as pushing cocaine to TV presenters.
"Sex demands the attention of programme makers simply because - good or bad - it makes publicising the show as uncomplicated as pushing cocaine to TV presenters."
So a second season for the Dark Side of Porn, the channel's look at how beastly the Adult Entertainment Industry is was as safe a bet as you get in television. The series opener Amateur Porn featured Mandy, a young porn producer specialising in a home-made filth, and Mike, a producer who had put together a compilation DVD of him shagging his ex-girlfriends.
"Her sales technique is to walk up to young single men with the gambit 'do you want to have sex with a porn star?' which beats the hell out of 'any accidents or injuries in the past four years?'"
Mandy, an attractive if slightly brassy young woman, specialises in gonzo porn, picking up young single men on the street to appear in her films. The young men fulfil their porn star fantasies and Mandy doesn't have to pay them - you quickly learn that there's always a bottom line with Mandy and it's not artistic integrity. Her sales technique is to walk up to young single men with the gambit "do you want to have sex with a porn star?" which beats the hell out of "any accidents or injuries in the past four years?".
Perhaps unsurprisingly, many flee for the hills prompting Mandy to chase after them promising "pussy" and "hot sex" like some deranged poster girl for Tourette's. Mandy reckons she has a success rate of one in six on the initial approach although many fail to turn up for the follow-up meeting. You see girls, when we say that we want you do the approaching we do mean it, just make it a bit less rapey. And ditch the film crew.
"You see girls, when we say that we want you do the approaching we do mean it, Just make it a bit less rapey. And ditch the film crew."
Those that do turn up to the shoot are often unable to perform under the stressful conditions of having a bunch of people watch them at it. And it can't help having Mandy looming over them with a camera saying things like "that's right - stick it up her cunt". I mean really - does she kiss her mother with that mouth?
We soon discover that she does when she has a home screening of one of her films with her mam and granny. It's all too much for Gran who makes a bolt for the kitchen after watching a few of Mandy's potty mouthed street approaches.
On the other side of the country, we're introduced to Mike. Mike was born with spina bifida and suffered bullying at school and sees his involvement in amateur porn as a validation of his self-worth. Battering his former girlfriend with a kettle, however, landed him with a GBH conviction and he certainly does seem to have some issues with women and the fact that it's only OK to hit them if they hit you first.
"She tells her dad that his little girl is going to be appearing sucking violent criminal cock on a DVD near him very soon."
Mike not only persuaded all his ex-girlfriends to be filmed having sex with him, he got them to sign release forms so that he could do whatever he damn well pleasey with the footage. There's an extended conversation with his colossally stupid ex as she refuses to take responsibility for her actions, has Mike's name removed from a tattoo and tells her dad that his little girl is going to be appearing sucking violent criminal cock on a DVD near him very soon.
Daddy seems to take the news quite well although he confides to the film-makers he "feels like dying". This would be quite a solemn moment if we didn't know perfectly well that the entire film crew had cracked one off to the misogynist gimp fucking his daughter's brains out an hour earlier. "For what it's worth, I think she's got a nice rack" is just one of the things the film crew do not say in response (I am happy to report).
"This would be quite a solemn moment if we didn't know perfectly well that the entire film crew had cracked one off to the misogynist gimp fucking his daughter's brains out an hour earlier."
So, score another one on the Channel 4 "pornography is bad m'kay?" scoresheet. Don't get me wrong - pornography is a dirty grubby business filled with dirty grubby people. But presenting women as the victims of pornography rather than the eager active participants they are is to shamelessly misrepresent the situation. Certainly it's exploitative - what industry isn't? But you'll notice that Mandy wasn't cold calling women to appear in porn films. Have you ever wondered why, in an industry that has a notoriously high turnover of staff and constantly requires new talent they never need to go on recruitment drives?
"Everybody's getting fucked at their work. Some people are lucky enough to come as well. They are to be envied, not patronised."
It's because the women in the industry enjoy it. They know they've got it good. They're getting fucked and they're getting paid. And it beats working in a cake shop.
Everybody's getting fucked at their work. Some people are lucky enough to come as well. They are to be envied, not patronised.
Disclaimer: the names have been changed to protect the anonymity of the participants. And because I can't remember them.
The best thing about it: Mandy's street walk ups.
The worst thing about it: Mike - an unpleasant little creep.
The verdict on The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn: Another diverting Channel 4 look at things we really shouldn't be looking at.
Marks out of 10: 7
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REVIEWS (cont'd)
J-M
Jericho
John From Cincinnati
Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem
Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history
Journeyman
jPod
Keys To The Vip
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Kings
King Of Shaves advert
Life
The Life and Times of Tim
Life on Mars
Lip Service
Live From Studio Five
Louie
Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth
Loose Women
Lost
Lost Season 2
Lost Season 3 Finale
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Lost Season 6 Premiere
Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno
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Luther
Luther Series One finale
Mad Men
Mad Men Season 2
Mad Men Season 2 Finale
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Mad Men Season 4
The Madness of Boy George
Mars Believe World Cup Campaign
Man vs Wild
Martina Cole's The Take
Mary Archer
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Mercy Series Premiere
Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs
Misfits
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Monkey Dust
Morales v Barrera III
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
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My Name Is Earl
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Oscars 2005
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Peaches Geldof: Teen America
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Pushing Daisies series premiere...
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Top 30 TV Shows of 2010
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The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested
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MISC REVIEWS
40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying
606 with Danny Baker
Amazon Review Scum
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Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
An Illustrated History of Dis
Fooled By Randomness
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Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever
Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite
Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism
Morales v Barrera III
Music Sounds Better With You(tube)
NME cool list
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Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke
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The Streets
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War Winehouse!
We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite
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