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"a depressing but brilliant read.... a superbly written manifesto for nothing." Daniel Hart
Like Aerial Telly, Danny Baker is a flawed genius. Aerial Telly has spoken about his own so-called alleged "flaws" and would like to talk about Danny Baker's. He's an arrogant fuck. He doesn't heed counsel. His television work is horrible. Listening to his Radio 1 show was like watching a beautiful woman pull a razor blade across her face1 and left us at the mercy of the Shining Path Sendero Luminoso talent free 1FM house music junta for the next 10 years. Nevertheless, Aerial Telly does not come here to rag on Danny Baker, but to give him a pound and a bear hug. Because when this motherfucker is in the zone there's no one can touch him. 606 with Danny Baker has returned. The only 606. The original, accept no imitations, back-caught-you-looking-for-the-same-thing, distilled in Lynchburg, Tennessee 606 with Danny Baker. Motherfucker, what?
"Rather like the Catholic Church telling cosmologists not to study the origin of the universe because it is the work of God , he seems to think that an understanding of the mechanics of football - tactics, training, formation - will rob it of its magic."
The strange thing about Baker is that he knows nothing about football. It's probably the only thing he knows nothing about. Ferociously intelligent, with an insatiable appetite for culture high, low or subterranean, he takes the theological stance that "football is chaos" and, rather like the Catholic Church telling cosmologists not to study the origin of the universe because it is the work of God and to study it is to blashpheme, he seems to think that an understanding of the mechanics of football - tactics, training, formation - will rob it of its magic. Voodoo chile.
"These things already existed as Platonic Ideals but it took a particular mind to draw them in from the immaterial world and make them flesh."
What he does know about is being a football fan. A Millwall fan no less. The parade of burlesque caricatures that pass through a club like Millwall - managers, players, fans - provide rich inspiration for talk-show topics. But to notice these things is an act of creation. The Chicken Judas, Keggy Keegle, Camp Lawrenson - these things already existed as Platonic Ideals but it took a particular mind to draw them in from the immaterial world and make them flesh. Danny Baker is that mind.
He hits the ground running on his return. He wonders if Rory Delap achieves his throw-in prowess by means of a reptilian tale. This leads to arequest for footballers with lizard like qualities. It's 10 a.m. Saturday morning and we're already on to herpetology. He talks to a British woman about being lost in American baseball stadium and how security won't buy her British driving licence. He sympathises. “The old pink driving licence looks like a receipt for a teddy bear”. Truedat.
"He talks to a British woman about being lost in American baseball stadium and how security won't buy her British driving licence. He sympathises. 'The old pink driving licence looks like a receipt for a teddy bear'. Truedat."
It's all good. The weekend football action was only tangentially relevant. He demands a lot of his listeners and they like the challenge. There are deep seams of darkness, joy and weirdness and collective experience of the British football fan. Long may they be mined.
The best thing about it: The Ickesque reptilian conspiracy
The worst thing about it: No Danny Kelly - Peter Taylor to Baker's Brian Clough.
