Netflix It’s Valentine’s Day in Litchfield and the price of love is the theme. Pegleg is finding his relationshit with Daya particularly taxing. Aleida and the rest of the beaners blackmail him into smuggling in iPods, tablets and food processors in his prosthetic leg. Did he really think it would ever be any different? Sow the... Read More

Netflix There’s nothing like raw sewage pouring through the plug to ruin your shower time and that’s exactly what happens in Spanish Harlem and the response from the Spaniels is best described as lukewarm. The subsequent sharing of the sisters’ bathroom leads to some classic banter between the two groups. Practical jokes are exchanged. Unkind... Read More

Netflix So much we take for granted. If there were one place you thought you could count on for knowledge of the female undercarriage it’s a women’s prison. And yet Poussey finds herself in the unenviable position of having to teach the fat sisters the location of the urethra. First she must convince them that... Read More

Netflix The big news in Lichfield is that Pipes is back, getting the kind of looks you get after you put the kind of beating on a girl Chris Brown put on Rih-Rih after she says “oh my God how random is this – a text from my ex-borefriend!” Brook Soso (Kimiko Glenn) is the new... Read More

Netflix That gigantic tub of shit Daya is looking more bloated than usual having not taken a dump for the best part of a week. Surrogate mom Mendoza and birth mom Aleida battle to become the person who relieves her constipation. If you can’t rip the shit out of your bunged up daughter then what... Read More